


False Start

by shadoedseptmbr



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 10:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2063847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadoedseptmbr/pseuds/shadoedseptmbr





	False Start

Kaidan stared for a minute before he stepped fully into Shepard’s cabin.  The observation lounge had nearly floored him with its wide sweep of glass and the leather chairs.  A well stocked bar, even.  

But this…he’d been in _apartments_ smaller than this.  The transparent ceiling framed an unbelievable view.  And taking up one whole wall...

"You have a fish tank."

"Well, would ya look at that.  I  _thought_  something was new.”  He could hear the smirk in her voice and he was glad, the old Shepard,  _his_  Shepard.  She’d been uncharacteristically hesitant with him in the recent past; a remnant he figured of, well...   Horizon and then Mars.

The way Shepard had looked at him when Kaidan saw her on Earth was burned into his memory. With the head injuries, he'd lost some of what happened on Mars, but Earth...he’d smiled, unable not to, and though she’d kept her expression calm, her eyes had been wary and defensive. 

A flash of vulnerability from a woman who rarely showed it, a glimpse of the street kid who couldn’t afford to trust anyone. A chat with her guard, now become her Lieutenant, Vega had cleared up some of the mystery.  Outside of Admiral Hackett once and Anderson, Shepard had no visitors, not one.  Not a message of support, not even letters.  

 No wonder she’d thrown off hissing sparks like a cat on a wool carpet.  They’d chatted in the hospital, almost easy, but now there wasn’t a bed rail between them.  Now she couldn’t leave him behind and disappear into her duties.

And now, invited up to her cabin to have a drink and chat, Shepard was hanging back by the door.  Pretty clear to see he had ground to cover.  They had so little time.  And he couldn’t stop staring at the damn  _fish tank._

He looked closer, though.  "Hey, there’s no fish."

The lack of response made him turn around to see her shake her head.  “Nah.”

"Why?"

Shepard shrugged and finally came fully into the room, but she didn’t look at him. “Lots of work, you know.”

"Really?"

"Missions go longer than you mean them to, they don’t get fed.  Tank gets dirty…which seems stupid.  I mean it’s water, right? Anyway…why bother?"  She rubbed her shoulder, flexing it like it was an old injury she had to keep loose.

"I guess. But you could have a yeoman do it."  He pressed the button that would release food.  Yeah, it'd be easy to rig one of the new systems.

"People have jobs to do, Kaidan.  I didn’t need someone in here just anytime to feed some fish.  Anyway, wanted to show you…

"They make, ah, filters, things with VI’s.  Automatic feeders that sense when you haven’t… "  _What was wrong with him, today?  Talk about something else._   

A bitter chuckle interrupted his self-reprimand and her muttered response completely tore him away from any thought of fish and sent a chilling clutch to his stomach. “Yeah, ‘cause I didn’t have enough bugs to deal with.”

She could mean the Collectors, he supposed.  But intuition said, “They bugged your quarters?”     

"Well, yeah." Shepard glanced away now, a smile twisted her lips thin, but her fingers were gripping the back of the desk chair so hard her knuckles had turned white.  

 _Of course they did._   Dammit, this was not what he’d planned. Kaidan had thought they’d gotten past all of this when they’d talked in the hospital but something had her defenses up and, god, Shepard’s defenses were legendary.  

"Shepard, I’m s…"

"Maybe this was a bad idea." Her brow was wrinkled and she avoided his hand when he reached out.

 _This?  Having him here?  Having him on board?_   ”No, wait…”

Joker’s voice crackled over the comm, “Commander? Admiral Hackett, checking in.”

The flat relief on Shepard's face tore at his heart.  “Thanks, Joker.  I’m on my way.”  She was already in the elevator, moving as fast as if she was in battle, when she threw back, “I’ll let you get back to your duties, Major.”

And then it was just him and some dusty ship models, still in boxes, piled in the corner. 


End file.
